i wna add context to my original comment why i felt like typing it out in the first place after reading ur review, u can treat it as an open letter to u and can decide whether what im saying has truth to it or not
obv i dont wna dismiss ur comments above and as much as id like to take ur word for u being content and happy with ur journey i think ur statements are directly contradicting with each other, lemme elaborate a little and show u my perspective on it, again this wont be about the specific map or mapping philosophy at all and more about u and how i perceived u throughout the years
i always found it interesting that a maps raison d'etre (<-- i dont actually use that word, i just finished subahibi the other day and wanted to use this at least ONCE) can say a lot about a mappers personal motivations, may it be mapping for fun, playcount, popularity, to impress other mappers, to show off music etc etc
coincidentally ive binched most of pishis videos recently, including ur interview and it left me with a similar sad feeling, to me theres a pattern of behaviour in ur career thats chasing constant approval/validation, whenever theres a next big mapping thing, ur telling urself u have to adopt their principles and adapt in order to prove that ur still "good" at mapping
i dont think u can achieve fulfillment with that mindset when ur constantly pressuring urself to fit into whatevers perceived as the highest affinity of mapping at that time Q__Q others were pointing it out aswell that ur more likely to find success when ur main driving factor is ur intrinsic motivation for the medium and imploring of ur own mapping personality rather than the appeal/approval of others
im saying this cause i think the version of u that wrote the first post seemed hurt when ur directly saying to urself that ur "simply not meant to create something great" and seeing ur map as "obviously underwhelming" etc, i think it lets ur inner feelings about ur selfworth show thru and directly clashes with the latter statement that ur genuinely fine and happy with ur overall journey, if u were *truly* content ud def talk different and welp.. more neutral about "failed" experimental projects
tbh im pretty much projecting thru u cause ive been in the validation seeking trap for the longest time and i felt like theres similarities between how we view our time spent on this game, i wna emphasize that im writing this with no ill intent, but i needed to get this out of my system
i got a little sad reading ur review, ur incredibly hard on urself and it hurts to see someone with such iconic status talk about their own creative process with such.. disdain? ur carrying a lot of emotional weight when talking about ur mapping like ur identity/selfworth as a person is directly tied to this game. ur kinda holding urself to an impossible standard of what a "great" map should be and i feel like ur completely devaluing the actual work and success uve built over the years ._. i know u might feel like this is just "honest analysis" but it sounds like ur rly just beating urself up and its genuinely sad to see. ur allowed to be a person outside of your maps. i really hope you can find a way to enjoy creating again without it feeling like such a burden
the 3d sliders flew over my head the first 2 times i watched the map in the editor, prolly cause the density in which they appear is slightly too slow, or msybe im just slow
my fav gero map, extremely fun
info discussion general suggestion
oh shit of fuck yess
related beatmap: underground mozart
dorchadas jumpscare
i retract my statement since bg is not a thrush nightingale
04:35:513 (1,2,1,2) -
jieusieu feels nothing like grid but it just is lol
very gentle mapping
i wna add context to my original comment why i felt like typing it out in the first place after reading ur review, u can treat it as an open letter to u and can decide whether what im saying has truth to it or not
obv i dont wna dismiss ur comments above and as much as id like to take ur word for u being content and happy with ur journey i think ur statements are directly contradicting with each other, lemme elaborate a little and show u my perspective on it, again this wont be about the specific map or mapping philosophy at all and more about u and how i perceived u throughout the years
i always found it interesting that a maps raison d'etre (<-- i dont actually use that word, i just finished subahibi the other day and wanted to use this at least ONCE) can say a lot about a mappers personal motivations, may it be mapping for fun, playcount, popularity, to impress other mappers, to show off music etc etc
coincidentally ive binched most of pishis videos recently, including ur interview and it left me with a similar sad feeling, to me theres a pattern of behaviour in ur career thats chasing constant approval/validation, whenever theres a next big mapping thing, ur telling urself u have to adopt their principles and adapt in order to prove that ur still "good" at mapping
i dont think u can achieve fulfillment with that mindset when ur constantly pressuring urself to fit into whatevers perceived as the highest affinity of mapping at that time Q__Q others were pointing it out aswell that ur more likely to find success when ur main driving factor is ur intrinsic motivation for the medium and imploring of ur own mapping personality rather than the appeal/approval of others
im saying this cause i think the version of u that wrote the first post seemed hurt when ur directly saying to urself that ur "simply not meant to create something great" and seeing ur map as "obviously underwhelming" etc, i think it lets ur inner feelings about ur selfworth show thru and directly clashes with the latter statement that ur genuinely fine and happy with ur overall journey, if u were *truly* content ud def talk different and welp.. more neutral about "failed" experimental projects
tbh im pretty much projecting thru u cause ive been in the validation seeking trap for the longest time and i felt like theres similarities between how we view our time spent on this game, i wna emphasize that im writing this with no ill intent, but i needed to get this out of my system
bumping my rating up cause honestly its insane how consistently good heilia is while also maintaining a unique style tahts tied to his name
her smooth bones pmo
funny map
02:03:667 - lost umbrella
asmongold reacts to cookiezi
^^^
great follow up, the last comment especially
@bd can we do pinky promise that ur gna be a little kinder to urself anyways? :b
i got a little sad reading ur review, ur incredibly hard on urself and it hurts to see someone with such iconic status talk about their own creative process with such.. disdain? ur carrying a lot of emotional weight when talking about ur mapping like ur identity/selfworth as a person is directly tied to this game. ur kinda holding urself to an impossible standard of what a "great" map should be and i feel like ur completely devaluing the actual work and success uve built over the years ._. i know u might feel like this is just "honest analysis" but it sounds like ur rly just beating urself up and its genuinely sad to see. ur allowed to be a person outside of your maps. i really hope you can find a way to enjoy creating again without it feeling like such a burden
im listening‼️👀👂
patterning lowk iconic
whys this small wave slider so memorable
shits epic
02:19:927 - and 02:24:664 -
the 3d sliders flew over my head the first 2 times i watched the map in the editor, prolly cause the density in which they appear is slightly too slow, or msybe im just slow
how the hell is jenny on this set
ok i smiled on the 3 slider <.<
RHO!!