this map is another that goes SO fucking hard to me despite me finding the other stuff from this person to be Aight like god damn this one is fucking awesome
i think ina lot of ways this map is extremely Cathartic its like thje equivalent to just pushing down emotions until u cant anymore and it manifests itself in this violent explosion of expression. its kinda almost like autistic masking?? yeah i think this map is kinda great in that way like fuuuck*
*: obviously this is My Interpretation Of This Map this is not me saying this is what this map was Going For but this is how i relate to and understand it ok that out of the way
like there are these bits in the song where the guitar just starts to go wild before dropping off and i think thats represented masterfully (00:28:106 (1,2,3,1,2,3,1,2,1,2,1,2,3,4,5,6,1,2) -) because thats like THE experience of like those brief moments where you are so Done anbd Exhuasted that you stop giving a shit about ur optics before coming back to being hyperaware about urself and the people around you to the point that you are like "oh god oh god no i need to stop" and then force it down
in a lot of ways this can result in overcorrection and you end up restricting urself from doing things that plenty of Normal People do all the time which i think can b demonstrated with the highly conservative rhythm choice in a lot of the map. in the choruses theres this recurring slow 3/4 slider that definitely stands out in a weird way but in a too-rigid sense isntead of the opposite mentioned in the earlier paragraph ig (00:44:369 (4) - )
this culminates in the solo. tyhis is like when ur approaching the end of a long day masking and all u wanna do is just go home and chill the fuck out so u may be less hyperaware than usual. u finally Get home and when you hit ur bed ur just like FUuuuuuuuck whyiseverydaysohardgodijustwanttoliveinpeaceauauuguhhhihatemycoworkersihatethisstupidfuckingjobfuckimgonnakillsomeonecanigoonedaywithoutmisinterpretingtheintentionsofeveryonegoddamn and all of that held in shit comes flowing right back up to tghe surface resulting in a Purging and Release ion the form of 01:57:317 (1) - and then ESEPCIALLY 02:00:632 (1) -
the visual pattern of the very beginning of the map where its building building building in intensity before being cut off is Inverted here (02:04:264 (1,2,3,4,1,2,3) - ) as sort of a calming down of sorts. lettin it go bc u acnt do anything about it and the alternative is Much Much Worse. however u are at home now and so you dont exactly Need to be anything at all and so u can b weird without consequence like fuck it why not just randomly get out of your chair and run around the apartment for a bit (02:13:738 (1,2,3,4,5,6,7,8) - and 02:19:738 (2,3,4) - etc) its not like ppl can see you and its fun!! :D
then u do some stuff and you realize how at ease u feel compared to earlier in the day and ur like damn . this shits fucked maybe i need to talk to someone about this
02:32:053 (1,1,1,1,1,1,1,1,1,1,1,1,1) - i think a lot of autistic ppl upon realizing that they have masked their whole lives tend to have a sort of response of grief over a kind of indeterminate thing theyve lost or i guess were forced into giving up and this can unearth a whole world of intense emotions. i know i did !! :)
in a way the final chorus and ending are sort of a synthesis between the two opposed sides of masking and being completely unmasked. in a lot of ways masking is important and useful to autistic ppl even if it can feel forced and suppressing. its just an extra mental load we have 2 keep up w. and so while we get more comfortable w just the basic facets of ourselves we inevitably have to deal with the world and we resort to masking in some part regardless. theres still the familiar staples of the slow 3/4 slider and other rhythm choices but theres flourishes of eccentricity like the movement in parts like 02:55:106 (2,3,4,5) -
that was way longer than i intended on it being its probably a little incoherent my point is Please check out this map its soooo fuycking good and maybe im alone in this kind of emotional experience but i hoep u can understand why i like it maybe :)
in th map theres a weird comfort in how the overwhelming everything at once feeling of the song and fast movements contrasts hard with the extremely stable repetitive patterning
this map is the emotional equivalent to being dissociated out of your fucking mind at a party where the background noise drowns out the cranked up speakers blasting music so all you really hear slash feel is the four on the floor of the bass and drums
00:43:771 (1) - hardest slider to ever grace an osu map but its literally only because of how the song works so saying that feels a little Weird but also osu maps are a lot to do w song choice so maybe its real actually fuuuck
(rewriting because im a dumbass) all of the diffs r competent and thats cool i like them a bit but they dont Do anything for me outside of that and thats disappointing like the song has a very Ominous and Off vibe to it and none of these maps represent it
i think naitoshi would have dropped heat ona song like thsi
"this map is NOT avant garde ðŸ˜" i mean . it sure as hell isnt Not avant garde. i think its like. between the two categories honestly. its p damn Weird compared 2 a lot of maps (that ; i know of at least )
"the tags put on this r like twitter user went neurodivergent mode in their bio" ya fair i think i used to over-tag a bit heavily trying to find every lil category a map fits into (iam autistic )
"playing the chorus in this thinking to myself on repeat "it's supposed to be deep and emotional you just don't get it" just so i dont fall asleep"
? ill b honest if ppl interpreted that comment as me calling this map deep or esoteric or whatever then they greatly misunderstood th point i was making . i was jsut describing my experience w the map and why i like it bc of that; im not tryna b out here going This Is Some High Level Shit That You Just Dont Get And Clearly This Makes Me Better Than You If You Dont Get It yk. idk! if its boring 2 u that is Fine..... my experienmce doesnt trump any1 elses obv
"gotta enjoy the map not the voices in ur head" i think mapping like any other art form can express meaning and have meaning drawn from it idk i think thats kinda fundamental 2 the joy of it for me shrug
i wrote 760 words on an osu map taht 7 ppl have voted total chat i think i might be autistic uhhh anyway!! its a good map
this map is another that goes SO fucking hard to me despite me finding the other stuff from this person to be Aight like god damn this one is fucking awesome
i think ina lot of ways this map is extremely Cathartic its like thje equivalent to just pushing down emotions until u cant anymore and it manifests itself in this violent explosion of expression. its kinda almost like autistic masking?? yeah i think this map is kinda great in that way like fuuuck*
*: obviously this is My Interpretation Of This Map this is not me saying this is what this map was Going For but this is how i relate to and understand it ok that out of the way
like there are these bits in the song where the guitar just starts to go wild before dropping off and i think thats represented masterfully (00:28:106 (1,2,3,1,2,3,1,2,1,2,1,2,3,4,5,6,1,2) -) because thats like THE experience of like those brief moments where you are so Done anbd Exhuasted that you stop giving a shit about ur optics before coming back to being hyperaware about urself and the people around you to the point that you are like "oh god oh god no i need to stop" and then force it down
in a lot of ways this can result in overcorrection and you end up restricting urself from doing things that plenty of Normal People do all the time which i think can b demonstrated with the highly conservative rhythm choice in a lot of the map. in the choruses theres this recurring slow 3/4 slider that definitely stands out in a weird way but in a too-rigid sense isntead of the opposite mentioned in the earlier paragraph ig (00:44:369 (4) - )
this culminates in the solo. tyhis is like when ur approaching the end of a long day masking and all u wanna do is just go home and chill the fuck out so u may be less hyperaware than usual. u finally Get home and when you hit ur bed ur just like FUuuuuuuuck whyiseverydaysohardgodijustwanttoliveinpeaceauauuguhhhihatemycoworkersihatethisstupidfuckingjobfuckimgonnakillsomeonecanigoonedaywithoutmisinterpretingtheintentionsofeveryonegoddamn and all of that held in shit comes flowing right back up to tghe surface resulting in a Purging and Release ion the form of 01:57:317 (1) - and then ESEPCIALLY 02:00:632 (1) -
the visual pattern of the very beginning of the map where its building building building in intensity before being cut off is Inverted here (02:04:264 (1,2,3,4,1,2,3) - ) as sort of a calming down of sorts. lettin it go bc u acnt do anything about it and the alternative is Much Much Worse. however u are at home now and so you dont exactly Need to be anything at all and so u can b weird without consequence like fuck it why not just randomly get out of your chair and run around the apartment for a bit (02:13:738 (1,2,3,4,5,6,7,8) - and 02:19:738 (2,3,4) - etc) its not like ppl can see you and its fun!! :D
then u do some stuff and you realize how at ease u feel compared to earlier in the day and ur like damn . this shits fucked maybe i need to talk to someone about this
02:24:475 - realization.png
02:32:053 (1,1,1,1,1,1,1,1,1,1,1,1,1) - i think a lot of autistic ppl upon realizing that they have masked their whole lives tend to have a sort of response of grief over a kind of indeterminate thing theyve lost or i guess were forced into giving up and this can unearth a whole world of intense emotions. i know i did !! :)
in a way the final chorus and ending are sort of a synthesis between the two opposed sides of masking and being completely unmasked. in a lot of ways masking is important and useful to autistic ppl even if it can feel forced and suppressing. its just an extra mental load we have 2 keep up w. and so while we get more comfortable w just the basic facets of ourselves we inevitably have to deal with the world and we resort to masking in some part regardless. theres still the familiar staples of the slow 3/4 slider and other rhythm choices but theres flourishes of eccentricity like the movement in parts like 02:55:106 (2,3,4,5) -
that was way longer than i intended on it being its probably a little incoherent my point is Please check out this map its soooo fuycking good and maybe im alone in this kind of emotional experience but i hoep u can understand why i like it maybe :)
in th map theres a weird comfort in how the overwhelming everything at once feeling of the song and fast movements contrasts hard with the extremely stable repetitive patterning
this map is the emotional equivalent to being dissociated out of your fucking mind at a party where the background noise drowns out the cranked up speakers blasting music so all you really hear slash feel is the four on the floor of the bass and drums
it is crazy how sonnyc popped off on THIS MAP IN PARTICULAR and literally no others for me literally every single other of their maps r Just Ok to me
00:43:771 (1) - hardest slider to ever grace an osu map but its literally only because of how the song works so saying that feels a little Weird but also osu maps are a lot to do w song choice so maybe its real actually fuuuck
i keep going back and forth on this one actually fuuck
its a map
what you know about rolling down inthe deep
a little bit annoying bc there r some parts that groove SO well and then they lose it and im like noooooooooooooo
(rewriting because im a dumbass) all of the diffs r competent and thats cool i like them a bit but they dont Do anything for me outside of that and thats disappointing like the song has a very Ominous and Off vibe to it and none of these maps represent it
i think naitoshi would have dropped heat ona song like thsi
hell no the atmosphere of this song is awesome
that spinner is AWESOME another banger nao tomori map
lovely
i thinnk this comment section shgould be nuked from orbit
"i wasn't talking abt ur comment on that other map or trying to call u pretentious dw" oh 😠my bad
anywayt good afternoon
wait i didnt realize this was loved too this is fucked can there be a good ranked ver of this already
why is this map good it should not be this good
most annoying osu site comment section oat award goes to this map
"this map is NOT avant garde ðŸ˜" i mean . it sure as hell isnt Not avant garde. i think its like. between the two categories honestly. its p damn Weird compared 2 a lot of maps (that ; i know of at least )
"the tags put on this r like twitter user went neurodivergent mode in their bio" ya fair i think i used to over-tag a bit heavily trying to find every lil category a map fits into (iam autistic )
"playing the chorus in this thinking to myself on repeat "it's supposed to be deep and emotional you just don't get it" just so i dont fall asleep"
? ill b honest if ppl interpreted that comment as me calling this map deep or esoteric or whatever then they greatly misunderstood th point i was making . i was jsut describing my experience w the map and why i like it bc of that; im not tryna b out here going This Is Some High Level Shit That You Just Dont Get And Clearly This Makes Me Better Than You If You Dont Get It yk. idk! if its boring 2 u that is Fine..... my experienmce doesnt trump any1 elses obv
"gotta enjoy the map not the voices in ur head" i think mapping like any other art form can express meaning and have meaning drawn from it idk i think thats kinda fundamental 2 the joy of it for me shrug
still a really good map
also gdi i need to redo all of my ratings bc new system explodes instantly
uhhhhhhhhhhhh its p good i guess i feel nothing from this so gameplay wise its better than most it hink